Applause I Can’t Hear

The funny thing is, everyone thinks you’ve accomplished so much. You get applause, messages, people telling you what an amazing job you’ve done.

But the truth? I don’t feel it. I don’t feel like I’ve done enough. I don’t feel like I deserve the recognition. I keep telling myself that maybe when I reach the next milestone, when I achieve the next big thing — then I’ll finally feel worthy.

But the louder the success, the louder the voice in my head: “Did you really deserve this? Or were you just lucky?”

Sometimes, I wonder if this all started when we were young — craving recognition, approval, and validation. Maybe we longed for it so much that when we finally do get it, we don’t believe it’s real. We grow up hitting milestones yet secretly thinking: “I don’t deserve this… I must be faking it.”

It’s as if no matter what we do, the child inside us still whispers that we’re not enough. That we’re waiting to be exposed as an imposter

The other day, I had a strange lightbulb moment: maybe we’re chasing a finish line that doesn’t exist. Maybe the real fear isn’t that we’re not enough, but that we’ll never feel enough… even when we are.

And maybe — just maybe — that’s the point. The chaos, the self-doubt, the never-ending chase… it keeps us growing. Perhaps if we ever felt truly satisfied, we’d stop evolving.

Maybe the chaos is the point.

Just another thought from the chaotic mind.